At time goes by, how would you treat your partner in your seventies?

In Japan, seventies and eighties, one super star singer had predominated all over Japan. His name is Kenji Sawada, we called him Jury. I recall one of his hit song numbers: As time goes by, Tokino gugiyuku mamani. The lyrics say, “you ‘ve got so tired that you don’t want to live any more… .” The end of this song was “as time goes by, the man and the woman are living together their cold back to back…”

Why I am recalling this song now is the episode of a couple in their seventies. Husband is used to be a CEO of a non-Japanese company. He looks so-called dictator type of leader. One day he asked me to support his event to celebrate his birthday. At that event, he officially want to  demonstrate his gratitude towards his wife. This sounds really nice story but he insisted that this event should be arranged in front of many people. Getting appreciated in front of everyone looks very effective to drive emotional fantasy in his wife, he told me like that. Then he followed: for more several decades, I would like to deliver a consultancy service as a couple and I need her help. So I have to create the situation where she is willing to support me.

He didn’t express the last sentence however, I feel and read between the lines. In Japanese, we call it “Sontaku”. I got desperate, disappointed and very uncomfortable. Then I decided not to help him. In my mind, that Jury’s song appeared. Cold heart, cold back to back, but staying together.

I have been telling and will tell my husband “thank you”, every time when I want to do so. I would like him to do the same. I have no intention to control others, even my beloved one. Controlling one’s partner and getting pleased with such performance, this is something that I want to avoid in my silver or gold wedding anniversary. I am not sure what the mainstream of aging society would be.